I grew up in a sexually, physically, and emotionally abusive environment. My childhood was stripped - thus the doll hanging from a noose, and I spent my nights in fear, feeling trapped - thus the girl in the cell....waiting for the monsters to come out of the closet. Oh, and the monsters are my father. The light and candles, because I would never sleep with the light out......And the chains, because I was emotionally bound, in a knot that didn't begin to loosen until recently. The girl, obviously, is me....I always thought I could close my eyes, and hide from everything deep inside myself. The spider coming out of the mouth symbolizes evil escaping man, as does the monster coming out of the screaming mouth; while the monster on the upper right is actually coming out of a wound, that looked phallic to me.....Trying to create an image to represent my experience, without seeming offensive, was a difficult task. So rather than express it in true perspective, i chose the abstract route. Anyway, it was MY experience, and this is how I envision it. I lightened the image, and apologize, as my monitor is terrible and I need to switch.....I'm going to remove the text and candles, but the poem below is what most emphasizes how I felt.....
Text by me: "Windowshades shelter me from dark things, like dark dreams; a canopy of well kept secrets, and should I scream out loud, he would send his demons down, one by one - to bring me to his lair, and keep me there, so that I cannot tell...
this side of heaven, from the darkest side of hell." MP 2003
***Note - my eyes (eyelids) were my windowshades****
By and by the way - despite having his issues, I don't hate my father today. I was taught, and it did ring true, that holding onto the anger is what holds us back. They asked me HOW I let go....but I don't know. It took time.
Sources Used:
"AttempteStock- white skirt 2" by ~AttempteStock at deviantart.com: http://attemptestock.deviantart.com/art/AttempteStock-white-skirt-2-22738768
"Amy1 by WakentheDead Stock" by wakenthedeadstock at deviantart.com: http://wakenthedeadstock.deviantart.com/art/Amy1-by-WakentheDead-Stock-84976108
"stock scream male 2" by =Chillinvillain at deviantart.com: http://chillinvillain.deviantart.com/art/stock-scream-male-2-138302599
"Hang Mans Noose" by !Superior-Stock at deviantart.com: http://superior-stock.deviantart.com/art/Hang-Mans-Noose-97217261
"Zentai - Y - 9" by *mjranum-stock at deviantart.com: http://mjranum-stock.deviantart.com/art/Zentai-Y-9-104412245
"Zentai - Y - 10" by *mjranum-stock at deviantart.com: http://mjranum-stock.deviantart.com/art/Zentai-Y-10-104412580
"Reaching Monster" by *dollieflesh-stock at deviantart.com: http://dollieflesh-stock.deviantart.com/art/Reaching-Monster-50585648
"Wound" by ~TooMuchFilth-stock at deviantart.com: http://toomuchfilth-stock.deviantart.com/art/Wound-25322743
"Old Broken Doll" by ~eviln8 at devianart.com: http://eviln8.deviantart.com/art/Old-Broken-Doll-2156979
"Skeletal Reaching Hand Prop" by `FantasyStock at devianart.com: http://fantasystock.deviantart.com/art/Skeletal-Reaching-Hand-Prop-28080613
"Hanging Light" stock by *Alegion-stock at deviantart.com: http://alegion-stock.deviantart.com/art/Hanging-Light-stock-121858967
"Christmas candle" by ~gurukitty at devianart.com: http://gurukitty.deviantart.com/art/Christmas-candle-42605033
"Spider" by ~PureStock at deviantart.com: http://purestock.deviantart.com/art/Spider-19932186
"gore zombie girl" by ~zombiehorror-stock at devianart.com: http://zombiehorror-stock.deviantart.com/art/gore-zombie-girl-64629305
"Zombie Beauty - 23" by *mjranum-stock at deviantart.com: http://mjranum-stock.deviantart.com/art/Zombie-Beauty-23-74948244
"Chain brushes" by ~Crystall92 at devianart.com: http://crystall92.deviantart.com/art/Chain-brushes-65924253
(2 years and 149 days ago)
Submit days: December 24, 2009 - January 01, 2010
